Ares: The God Greece Loved to Hate

By Eduardo Gryn, Historian & Mythology Buff

Born into Battle: Ares’ Divine Dysfunction

Let’s get one thing straight: Ares, the Greek god of war, wasn’t exactly winning popularity contests on Mount Olympus. While his sister Athena strategized victories, Ares reveled in the gore, chaos, and primal scream of combat. Born to Zeus and Hera, he was the problem child of the pantheon—a divine loose cannon who’d start wars just to watch the fireworks.

Family Drama 101

Ares’ origin story reads like a therapy session waiting to happen. Zeus despised him, Hera was ambivalent, and his half-siblings mocked his bloodlust. Even his birthplace is contested—Hesiod claims he sprang from Hera alone after she touched a magical flower (a dig at Zeus’ cheating). Talk about family issues.

God of War… Or God of Oops?

Ares wasn’t just the patron of soldiers; he embodied war’s ugliest truths: chaos, bloodshed, and the thrill of violence. Unlike Athena’s “win with wisdom” vibe, Ares’ battle style was pure berserker rage. The Greeks saw him as necessary but repellent—like a hurricane you pray to avoid.

Symbols of Mayhem

His iconography wasn’t subtle:

• Spear & Shield: Often bloodstained, rarely sheathed
• Vultures: His “cleanup crew” after battles
• Dog: Loyalty to chaos, not mankind

Even his chariot was pulled by fire-breathing horses named Flame and Terror. Subtlety wasn’t his strong suit.

 

Mythic Misfires: Ares’ Greatest Blunders

Ares’ rap sheet is a mix of dark comedy and horror:

The Aloadai Giant Fiasco

Two teen giants once trapped Ares in a bronze jar for 13 months. The mighty god of war? Reduced to whining until Hermes rescued him. Zeus probably facepalmed.

Affair with Aphrodite: Ancient Greek Tabloid Fuel

Ares’ steamy affair with Aphrodite (wife of Hephaestus) was Olympus’ worst-kept secret. When Hephaestus caught them in a golden net, the gods laughed… except Ares, who fled to Thrace to nurse his bruised ego. Even his love life was a battlefield.

Why the Greeks Low-Key Hated Their War God

Unlike his revered Roman counterpart Mars, Ares got minimal worship. Athens? They built zero major temples to him. Sparta? They tolerated him as a necessary evil. Here’s why:

The Trojan War Debacle

In Homer’s Iliad, Ares picks the Trojan side but gets his butt kicked by Athena (twice!) and even the mortal Diomedes. When your war god needs a bandage, faith falters.

Godly Pariah

Ares represented everything Greeks feared: mindless violence, defeat, and the cost of war. Soldiers invoked him grudgingly, like a dark ritual. As philosopher Plato put it: “Ares is the god we use, not the god we love.”

Trivia: Ares’ Most Savage Moments

• His sacred bird was the vulture—because crows weren’t metal enough.
• He fathered Phobos (Fear) and Deimos (Panic), Sparta’s battle mascots.
• NASA’s Mars rovers are named after his “nicer” Roman version. Even science side-eyes him.

Ares: The God Who Thrived in the Gray

Divine Frenemies: Ares’ Rocky Relationships

Ares wasn’t winning any “Best Olympian” awards. His relationships were a mix of grudging alliances and outright hostility:

Aphrodite: Love in the Time of War

His affair with Aphrodite (goddess of love) was the ultimate “opposites attract” cliché. While she symbolized beauty and desire, Ares reveled in brutality. Their union birthed Harmonia (harmony)—a cosmic joke if there ever was one. Even their kids, Phobos (Fear) and Deimos (Panic), became Sparta’s battle mascots. Talk about dysfunctional family goals.

Athena: Rivalry of the War Gods

If Ares was a wrecking ball, Athena was a scalpel. During the Trojan War, she outsmarted him repeatedly, even helping the mortal Diomedes wound him. Their clashes symbolized Greece’s internal debate: Is war about glory or survival? Spoiler: Athena’s PR team won.

Ares’ Cosmic Role: Necessary Evil or Divine Mistake?

The Greeks saw war as inevitable—but that didn’t mean they had to like its patron. Ares’ domain included:

Chaos Incarnate

He embodied the raw, unfiltered chaos of battle: screaming soldiers, shattered shields, and the stench of blood. While Athena planned sieges, Ares lurked where formations broke and madness reigned.

God of… Rejection?

Outside Sparta and Thrace, Ares got minimal worship. Athens’ Areopagus (Hill of Ares) hosted murder trials—linking him to violence, not valor. Even his “sacred” animals (vultures, dogs) were scavengers, not noble beasts.

Ares’ Fan Club: Cults of the Unloved

While most Greeks kept Ares at arm’s length, some groups embraced his chaos:

Sparta’s Dark Patron

Spartans saw Ares as a brutal mentor. Before battle, they sacrificed dogs to him—a nod to his feral nature. His sons Phobos and Deimos adorned their shields, because nothing says “intimidation” like screaming “FEAR AND PANIC” at your enemies.

Thrace: Ares’ Second Home

Thracians worshipped Ares as a homeland god, tying him to their rugged, warlike culture. Herodotus claimed they even offered human sacrifices to him. When your fanbase is the ancient equivalent of biker gangs, you know you’ve made it.

Ares in Art: From Fearsome to Forgotten

Artists struggled to romanticize the unhinged god of war:

Ancient Vases: Blood & Bronze

Early Greek pottery showed Ares as a bearded brute, often mid-swing with a spear. On the François Vase (570 BCE), he’s a bystander at Achilles’ wedding—subtly snubbed by the heroes.

Renaissance Redemption?

Painters like Rubens recast him as a muscular noble, but his Roman counterpart Mars stole the spotlight. Even Botticelli’s Venus and Mars paints him as a sleeping himbo—Aphrodite’s exhausted boy toy.

Modern Media: Villain Vibes

From Disney’s Hercules (1997) to Wonder Woman (2017), Ares is the go-to warmonger. His latest incarnation? A CGI monster in God of War games. Some stereotypes stick.

Trivia: Ares’ Most Underrated Antics

• He once turned a queen’s lover into a sea monster because she rejected him. Petty? Yes. On-brand? Absolutely.
• His Sacred Grove in Thebes was said to bleed when threatened—nature’s first horror movie gag.
• The Areopagus in Athens still exists today—now a tourist spot, not a murder trial site. Progress?

Ares Unleashed: The War God’s Divine Arsenal

The Anatomy of a War God: Ares’ Powers

Ares wasn’t just a brute—he was a force of nature. As the Greek god of war, his powers embodied violence, chaos, and the primal thrill of combat.

Supernatural Strength & Invulnerability

Ares’ strength dwarfed even other Olympians. He could:

• Hurl mountains like shot puts (as seen in his feud with Poseidon).
• Shake entire battlefields with his war cry, causing avalanches.
• Survive divine weapons—except those blessed by Zeus or Athena.

Yet he wasn’t invincible. In the *Iliad*, the mortal Diomedes wounded him with Athena’s spear, proving even gods bleed when outsmarted.

 

Fear Incarnation

Ares could radiate Phobos (terror) so intense, soldiers dropped weapons mid-charge. During the Trojan War, his mere presence caused armies to rout. This wasn’t just magic—it was psychological warfare millennia before the term existed.

Battlefield Possession

Ares could possess warriors, turning them into frenzied killing machines. The Spartoi (sown men) of Thebes were said to be born from his influence—soldiers who fought with inhuman ferocity.

Ares’ Divine Toolkit: Weapons & Abilities

The god of war didn’t need strategy. His “tools” were extensions of his chaotic will:

The Spear of Unmaking

His bronze spear dripped with divine ichor that caused wounds no mortal healer could close. In myth, it pierced Heracles’ thigh during their brawl, leaving the demigod limping for weeks.

Chariot of Cataclysm

Pulled by fire-breathing horses named Flame and Terror, Ares’ chariot trampled battle lines into mud. Where it rolled, the earth cracked, and rivers boiled—a literal hell on wheels.

Army of the Damned

Ares could summon spectral warriors from history’s bloodiest battles. In the Shield of Heracles, he conjures an army of ghosts to fight his demigod son—an early prototype of zombie warfare.

Feats of Fury: Ares’ Most Savage Moments

Ares’ resume is a mix of triumph and humiliation—but always epic.

1. The Trojan War’s Chaotic Reign

Ares backed the Trojans, slaughtering Greeks until Athena intervened. He once killed 32 heroes in a single day before Diomedes (guided by Athena) speared him. His scream of pain reportedly shattered every window in Troy.

2. Battling Heracles for Survival

When Heracles killed Ares’ son Cycnus, the war god challenged him to single combat. Their brawl leveled a forest and diverted a river. Heracles won by slamming Ares face-first into a boulder—proving even gods can get rocked.

3. The Gigantomachy’s Turning Point

During the gods’ war against the Giants, Ares beheaded the giant Mimas with a single spear thrust. The act was so brutal, other Giants hesitated—a rare moment of tactical impact from chaos incarnate.

4. Imprisoning Thanatos (Death)

When the warrior Sisyphus cheated death, Ares stormed the Underworld, chained Thanatos, and tossed him into a Tartarus pit. Death itself went on hiatus until Zeus forced Ares to back down.

5. Fathering Amazonian Queens

Ares’ tryst with the nymph Harmonia produced the first Amazons. These warrior women inherited his bloodlust, creating a nation of Ares-worshipping berserkers who dominated ancient myth.

Weaknesses: The God’s Kryptonite

Even Ares had limits:

• Athena’s Wisdom: She outmaneuvered him in every conflict.
• Zeus’ Authority: Ares’ father frequently humiliated him for his recklessness.
• His Own Rage: Blind fury left him open to traps (see: Hephaestus’ golden net).

Trivia: Ares’ Most Metal Feats

• He once armored himself in a living storm cloud during a battle with Poseidon.
• His roar was said to be audible across three continents.
• In Sparta, soldiers drank wine mixed with blood before invoking him—a ritual called “Ares’ Breakfast.”